Don't Look Back In Anger

Our past can be both a wonderful and a terrifying thing. Everyone has one, and it’s how we look back and reflect on our pasts, and how we learn from our experiences, that shapes us into the people we are today. 

It is important however to make sure that when we look back, we do so with a level of acceptance. Otherwise we may start worrying too much about regrets and the ‘what if’s?’ of our lives.

I had a conversation with a client last week about how happy and proud they were with how much their health had changed in the past year. It was really great to hear and to be a part of and I was especially excited to hear about how their next 6 months looked goals wise. One thing that did keep cropping up though was what I can only describe as a ‘resentment’ for how their issues were handled in the past by other healthcare professionals. The annoyance at the thought of what life would have been like had they got the right type of care sooner was tainting the moment. 

As correct as they were about it being annoying and disappointing seeing people not getting the right type of care when they need it, allowing it to take over the positive changes they have made since is a mentality that can never lead to anything good.

I said to them “you’re right, it does suck. But where does wondering what life would have been like get you now? There’s no point putting any more energy into the ‘what if’ life because it doesn’t exist. Focus on what you can now do and how much happier it can make you if you pursue your new goals moving forward. That side of things you CAN influence.”

I know not everyones past is the same. The challenges one person faces in accepting and not dwelling on their past can be much smaller than the next person but the advice is still the same. Don’t let your past mask all the positives in your life now and if you struggle with that, talk to someone about it. You’ll be thankful in the long run.